The end of week four and all of week five were a great lesson in my blueprint not wanting to be changed. I definitely noticed a bit of a struggle between what I know was learning to do and what my old blueprint wanted me to do.
I was on a business trip and had just completed a very successful sales presentation, I was so excited to have extra time , so I was headed to take a little R&R at the beach before my flight home.
I stopped at Starbucks to do a little bit of computer work and wrap up the week. As I got out of my rental vehicle I walked around the back to get my computer and I barely bent over and my whole back spasmed, I had to sit down quickly or I would’ve fallen.
So what to do? At that moment it was all I could do to put 1 foot in front of the other, but I was sure this too would pass, so I painfully gathered my things and went into Starbucks, sat down and did some computer work as the tightness & pain made it about impossible to sit it think. .
As the pain grew increasingly worse, I decided it was time to make my way back to the hotel I had already checked out of and see if they’d allow me to use the pool or the hot tub to loosen up before I attempted to get to the airport.
Well wouldn’t you know it when I needed it the most I got to the hotel and this day, of all days they had a private party so the pool in the hot tub were closed. At that moment in that massive pain, I clearly thought about giving up. It hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, it hurts to sit and most of all it hurt to breathe .
I looked around at all the happy people going on with their lives, going out to the beach having fun, I cried behind my dark sunglasses and for the first time in a long time I thought about giving up.
And I sat there and I thought about what does giving up look like, How could I live in pain all the time, all alone and fulfill my dreams when I couldn’t even move. Then I shook myself and thought you can do this, you can do anything and you’re changing your life right now don’t give up! I thought about how much I wanted to make the master key program work for me, how much I wanted to finally achieve my dreams and not allow the illness and injuries that always get in my way stop me.
And then I thought about how much I wanted to make the master key program work for me, how much I wanted to finally achieve my dreams and not allow the unpredictable, sometimes unbearable illness and injuries that always get in my way stop me.
And then I thought, God has a plan for me and I can’t stop, I have to fulfill that.
So I gathered my senses and I just went and sat by the water and thing myself “you can figure it all out, you can do this!”
I shuffled my feet like a 90 year old, breathed shallow breathes and each minute muscle movement was a very conscious and orchestrated process.
I made my way to the ocean and I sat.
As tears stream down my face and the massive waves rolled up on the beach I started to think about all that I’m learning in the master key and how much inner struggle, that week in particular I’d been having.
Then it hit me, could my back going out have been my blueprint fighting back? Could it once again be trying to stop me from moving forward? Because if that was true this time it definitely stopped me dead in my tracks! What was life trying to tell me?????
Lost in the ebb & flow of the ocean, wind & birds, I allowed myself to be hypnotized and let the waves take me away to a different place. Atthat moment, I rose above the pain and the words of my DMP came to mind and there, I committed to make this happen no matter what pain or obstacle confronted me or who got in my way and no matter how much my Subby and my blueprint fought back!
When they stop me in my tracks maybe? Yes maybe they would sometimes and maybe I’d have a small setback but in that moment, in that pain, in that state of fear, I rose above it all and I committed that no matter what tried to take me off course, I would always get back on & always take care of me while moving toward my Pure Health & Legacy!!
I may move slowly toward my goal at times my health reminds me to slow & look at what is going I so I can heal it, BUT I WILL FORGE A NEW PATH!!!