After being in MKMMA for 9 1/2 weeks, Plus having done some of my own self reflection, at the time of spending a long weekend with my three grown children, their spouses and my two granddaughters, it made for a interesting weekend.
Yes it was more than awesome to have them all under one roof again, a dream come true!
Being a single parent for the last 25 years with no family locally it has been awesome, sometimes scary and now that none of them live nearby often very lonely and sometimes sad. But this was a weekend I was so very excited about!
Well anybody that knows me knows that this mama bear goes all out when it’s time to see the family! So I rented a large Townhouse in Orlando near my youngest daughter and her husband, so I could have my grandbabies under the same roof.
I arrived early and decorated from top to bottom – special touches in the bedrooms, bathrooms and the first floor was a paradise for little ones. There was a blowup Santa Mickey Mouse and a blowup Olaf to greet them as they walked through the door.
There was a princess castle in the corner with little surprises inside for the 4 1/2-year-old and two-year-old to play in.
Freshly made cookies from grandmas home and every treat you could imagine!
We were just down the road from Walt Disney World and yes we spent the first day at Disney.
I was sooooo excited and all was going well, though we didn’t stay together as a family most of the morning (a bit disappointing to me) and then as the early afternoon began and the babies became tired and a little tired, that’s when the stress of the adults grew a little. Being very empathic I tend to feel energy shifts and pain in other people and I felt it shift. Normally it would tense me up, but in that moment, as the Grinch on Christmas morn, I felt my heart grow, I felt an opening, an understanding, a huge compassion and at that moment I saw everything through a new heart! As the weekend went on I became the observer not only of my family but of their hearts, their great big hearts as parents, aunts & uncles, spouses, my children and as responsible employees and integral parts of society & the worlds future.
At that moment I realized how selfish I had been all these years trying to pursue my vision of “perfection” for my family and putting that on them, causing unconscious stress from all angles when we are together….at that moment
I LET GO!!
I PROMISED myself to LOVE, RESPECT & THINK of others before I speak – to be sure I am only coming from a vision of love and shared respect. Seeing this change as another shift in attaining my goals…realizing how I have been putting too much energy into others and into “perfection” probably as a way to avoid truly stepping into my own life
Wow what a huge realization and actually a great weight removed….
Let Go and Let God and focus on me
Let them & me off the hook