“If you are going to Change the World, you have to look inside, Change your inner World and then You’ll Know You Can!” Anne Skinner
The Mental Diet was easy when we started it…heck I found myself in Costa Rica with my Granddaughter unexpectedly! I had a great presentation at work…life was on a rapid climb filled with awesome moments, awesome people and spectacular surprises! Life was good and I was believing every corner held another blessing, gift or transformation and I was thrilled!!
Well Friday of week 7, I was excited and headed to another favorite place – a weekend with my other Granddaughter, a 4 year old sweetheart who always fills my Soul and reminds me why I am here! We had a blast that first day! Shopping for clothes for 2 hours, so much fun! Then Chuck E Cheese for 2.5 hours! My DMP and my Grandma Legacy coming to life.
When we returned home not only were the horrible Paris events replaying on the television, but I was also made aware of a family crisis of which I had no answer.
This was when my Mental Diet and progress forward seemed to fade and the old blueprint kicked in, my head was spinning, trying to come up with a solution in an impossible situation. My mind flooded me with the past, bad decisions, questions of what I can do, what I could have done…a blur, a flash of human that I never realized I had pushed down so deeply. The week has been a tough one, my processing manifested in many ways and finally on Thursday my heart broke, the tough exterior, “Ms.I can handle everything alone” was lost and sad and for the first time in a long time I had to admit that sometimes I don’t have the solutions or the answers and that God has brought me this far, he MUST be able to handle this!
So today after feeling sick Thursday & Friday and taking a “Mental Health day” yesterday, I knew that the best I could do was to Restart, Rethink and Regroup!! So tomorrow morning I will be sitting and one more time reviewing PPNs and rewriting my DMP, finding that as the clay cracks from my inner Buddha, my plans, dreams and my future continues to shift.
So though this setback has rocked me to the core I have decided not to listen to the voice that’s telling me to give up….I’M STILL Moving, maybe slower, maybe through tears and doubts BUT I’m still moving and will regain my footing and be stronger!!!
MKMMA I WILL follow the steps sometimes running others maybe walking but I will Find my Definite Purpose and Live It!!